Benedict's Birth Adventure

Baby Ben was due November 9th. The little bugger was still breach at our 36 week appointment (just like his brothers, who didn't flip down until 39 and 38 weeks, respectively). The midwife scheduled me for an external version at 37 1/2 weeks, which they didn't have to do, thankfully, since at that point the ultrasound showed he was mostly head down, swimming in extra amniotic fluid (which is why he wasn't engaged in the pelvis; this was the case with Charlie, too, and probably Henry...and when I asked the doctor why, he said, "Who knows...you're kids just pee a lot?!"). So I left that appointment happily hoping to be able to go into labor on my own, at which point, hopefully the baby would still be head down.

October 30th, I awoke and realized I'd been pretty achy the latter part of the night down low, and it didn't take me long to realize I was having really frequent contractions that were relatively uncomfortable. That, along with some other signs I won't go into here led me to call my supervisor around 7:20 a.m. and let her know I wasn't coming in unless things calmed down. I called Joe and gave him a heads up, and then called my mom and dad, who came over after picking up Alex and Andrew to get my boys and help me prepare for the seemingly immanent hospital visit. God bless them. They swept, did dishes, folded laundry and hauled out my piles of laundry to their car to wash and fold at their place while I was in the hospital. What LOVE!!! I wrapped up some other preparations and went with my mom to vote for a new president, since it looked like I might be in the hospital on election day. While I waited in line for an hour with my mom, the contractions pretty much quit. We took advantage of another night together just the four of us and carved pumpkins for Halloween. The next day (Halloween) we went to Vala's Pumpkin Patch with Tia Leah and the cousins, then got dressed up and went trick-or-treating. I realized by the end of the day I'd totally overdone it...but it WAS a beautiful day together and that night we decided to stay at my parents' so the kids would already be there if we needed to go into the hospital. Sure enough, I started having pretty strong, regular contractions halfway through the night, and by 7 a.m. determined with the midwife it was time to go in. I dreaded the car ride. I'd let Joe sleep as long as possible while I managed the contractions on my own, and by this point, they were quite intense. The car ride wasn't too bad, and it was a serene morning in Labor and Delivery, so I got the best room in the joint. When Lydia (the midwife) checked my cervix, I was at 7cm and she was pretty sure we'd have a baby in our arms within an hour or so. WOW! I called my precious friend Robin to join us for the delivery (one of her bucket-list to-do items) and enjoyed a hot bath for a time, which was super nice....too nice...things quit progressing; so out I went. Long story short, about seven hours of "transition" later (thanks to an over-abundance of amniotic fluid), Baby Ben was born....healthy and beautiful. It was a gut-wrenching, totally exhausting ordeal....but I've never had a more powerful experience of pain and surrender in my entire life. 100% FIGHT. 100% SURRENDER. Progress required TOTAL SURRENDER to the painful contractions, and in order to surrender that way, I had to fight with 100% of my will. This has since become a powerful metaphor for life, to me....that when "contractions" and "pain" happen, we must fight with all our being to surrender to the life-giving work that God is trying to achieve through those difficult circumstances. Anyhow, right when I was feeling most desperate to escape the pain, knowing there was no way out, the chaplain I'd requested in the morning arrived with the Blessed Sacrament, and after receiving the Eucharist while draped on a birthing ball between contractions, Ben and I "kicked in" the last strides of this labor marathon and he was born a few pushes later. Amazing. And I was totally WASTED. But everyone else in the room (Joe, Robin, Mom and Leah - and others soon after) delighted in their first moments beholding his precious body and hearing his cries. Eventually he made it into my arms and I drank in the beautiful feeling of his warm, waxy, tiny, full-of-life flesh gathered into my embrace...up close and sharing breath and warmth...truly heavenly. It is a most sublime feeling. How could this NOT be a sharing in the LOVE and LIFE that is God. How could there NOT be a Loving God??!!!! Thank you, Lord, for our precious Ben, and for all that you have taught and are teaching me through this amazing and humbling journey of motherhood.